Every year I make predictions at the start of the NFL playoffs. Every year I am horribly wrong.
It had become a bit of a joke at the GCDN, especially when it came to the Super Bowl columns.
Corey and I would always write dueling columns. I beat him once out of three times, only because he hates Pittsburgh so much he would rather write a column about why Arizona would win.
Last year, Evan picked up where Corey left off, beating me in the dueling columns. I thought for sure Indianapolis was going to win that game.
To make matters worse, I made a joke about Drew Brees hating his mom. Apparently I had missed the memo that his mom committed suicide the year before. Whoops.
I won’t try to get cute or snarky this go round. Maybe that will help my fortunes change. Probably not. So don’t take these picks to Vegas with you.
Wild card round
• AFC: Indianapolis over New York Jets, Baltimore over Kansas City
If Mark Sanchez was healthy, I’d take the Jets over Indy. That arm injury scares me a bit though, so I’ll pick the Colts in a close one.
I’ll be stunned if Kansas City scores more than 14 against Baltimore. Ravens should win by at least two scores.
• NFC: Philadelphia over Green Bay, New Orleans over Seattle
Everyone is acting like Green Bay is suddenly the team to beat in the NFC. The Packers can’t run the ball, though, and I expect a rested Michael Vick to have a big game.
It’s not a question if New Orleans will beat Seattle. The question is by how much?
• AFC: New England over Baltimore, Indianapolis over Pittsburgh
New England is playing too good right now. Baltimore will keep it close for a while, but then the Pats should pull away.
Pittsburgh is tough, but I just have a feeling Peyton Manning has one game in him this postseason where he absolutely goes off against a good defense.
• NFC: Atlanta over New Orleans, Chicago over Philadelphia
Like the first two match-ups, the Falcons-Saints game is going to be close. Ultimately, injuries for the backfield in New Orleans are going to catch up with it.
In five career games against Chicago, Vick only has three total touchdowns with five turnovers. He’s 1-4 against the Bears, with the lone win coming last year when he had one rush and one pass attempt. In conclusion, the Bears own his ass.
• AFC: New England over Indianapolis
The Manning face will be alive and well in this one. Brady throws for at least three touchdowns and the Pats cruise to the Super Bowl.
• NFC: Chicago over Atlanta
Any one that has ever seen a Chicago sports team play in Atlanta can attest to the fact that the fans take over. Scoop, I know you can verify this. That means no home-field advantage to speak of for the Falcons. As long as the Bears don’t get stupid with their play calling, they win by a touchdown to earn a spot in the Super Bowl.
• New England over Chicago
I’m a homer, but not that big of one. New England is just too damn good this year. It will be closer than that 36-7 humiliation last month, but I think the Pats still win by 10 points.
Hope I’m wrong on that last prediction.
• Finally got my COBRA papers in the mail. Going to be $417.23 a month to keep my health insurance. Fucking pre-existing condition. Once again, double finger salute to getting laid off.
• I like that my Cubs traded for Matt Garza today, but boy did they give up a lot. Specifically giving up Chris Archer and Hak-Ju Lee seemed like a high price. Hope it works out.
• Harbaugh to San Francisco is a good fit for both parties. My uncle is a diehard 49ers fan, and we figured they will try to trade for Kevin Kolb to put a stop to that ugly quarterback rotation.
• Trying to decide whether to take Boogie to the zoo or the aquarium on Saturday. I’ll probably let the weather make the final decision.
Bear Down and Keep the Faith!