No collar to grab me by

I hate people. I especially hate people that take themselves way too seriously.

With my new putter in my bag, I decided to head to the golf course Tuesday afternoon. I found a course in Texas City with really cheap rates after 2 p.m., so I packed up the bag around 5 p.m. and drove down.

When I pulled up, I put my clubs on my back and walked up to the pro shop. When I got in, the guy working was waiting at the door.

“You can’t bring your clubs in here,” he said with a stern voice. “You have to leave them outside.”

OK, that’s cool. No problem.

I go up to the register and tell him I am going to walk the course.

“You can’t play without a collared shirt,” he said with a scowl on his face.

Now let’s look at the facts here.

This isn’t some fancy country club. It’s about a mile away from an oil refinery, and a built on a bayou, which is a nice way of saying swamp.

I wasn’t dressed like a bum. I had on plaid shorts and a nice white shirt, not a t-shirt. I almost wish I had worn my “Fukudome — That’s What She Said” shirt.

There were hardly any people there, mainly because it was a weekday and still a 97-degree heat index.

And the real kicker — it only cost $7 to golf. Even if you golf before 2 p.m., it is still only $12.

So this Podunk little golf course, which allows you to golf for dirt cheap, demands you wear a collared shirt to golf? Whatever.

I told the guy I had a collared shirt in the car and I would go put it on. I figured I really didn’t have said shirt.

I paid for my round and walked to the car. As expected, no collared shirt.

At this point, I decide to test how serious these guys are. So I walked to the first tee without my collared shirt and got ready to play. I looked over at near the clubhouse and saw this little guy jumping in a cart and coming flying up to me.

Give me a break.

“You know what this about,” he said as he pulled up.

“Look dude, I have a collared wind shirt, but it is a little too hot for that,” I said.

“There are no exceptions. You have to wear a collared shirt. We don’t give rain checks, either.”

So I marched back up to the clubhouse.

“What are the cheapest shirts you have?”

“I have some for $24,” the dude says.

Ugh. I actually picked out a shirt in an orange color that I had been wanting, so I will actually wear it in the future. Still, I couldn’t believe I had to buy a freaking shirt just to play a $7 round of golf.

Other than that, the round went fine. Due to time constraints, I was only able to play 14 holes. Still did OK (mostly double-bogeys, only one 8 ) and walked a good three miles.

Still, those guys didn’t have to be dicks about the damn collared shirt. I mean, would the golf course have been destroyed if I dared teed off without one? I guess we’ll never know — unless I try and push my luck again.

Hot night at the Buckley residence?

I would have had this blog written Tuesday night, but a late night fire scare at my apartment complex took an hour of my life.

The fire alarm started screaming at around 9 p.m. I didn’t have Boogie that night, so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that. However, I did have the cat.

The sound drove her underneath the bed. I had to take my new long putter and chase her out of there, trap her in a corner and then put her in the pet carrier. She was not pleased.

I went outside with everyone else from my apartment building and waited on the fire department. Man, there are a lot of ugly people that live in my apartment complex.

Anyway, the fire department finally arrived and after a thorough search, gave the all clear. Apparently something had gone off in an apartment on the first floor, causing the sprinklers to go off. That sucks.

I was thankful it wasn’t a real fire. I had saved the cat and computer, but a fire would have taken the XBox, golf clubs, and more importantly, my beloved 50-inch HD TV. I would not have been a happy camper.

Mad ramblings

• This Will Lyles character has become part of a big recruiting scandal in the Houston area and could put the Oregon football program in big trouble. However, Lyles is also crazy, as evidenced by his rant midway through this story about how he was denied a McRib.

• I’m not sure what’s better — this article pointing out that this could be the Millennium Falcon in the Baltic Sea, or the comments below in which nerds argue what the Kessel Run and parsecs are.

Please Brett, will you and your crocked penis just go away for good?

So Pujols recovered from a major injury in two weeks? And this doesn’t make anyone the least bit suspicious? Just sayin’…

Bear Down and Keep the Faith!

About Joshua Buckley

I used to be a Sports Editor. Now I'm the Media Relations Manager at the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center.


One thought on “No collar to grab me by

  1. And you made fun of the ghetto course! At least it is cheap, and you could wear a tank top to play golf in Dickinson!!

    The whole thing about Pujols, basically the management lied to everyone about the fracture if he is able to come back in 15 days. A true fracture heals in 4-6 weeks. Could have been a tiny stress fracture, or he could have had an old fracture that was never dagnosed and was flared up by said incident. Anyway, there is truth to be suspicous!!

    Posted by Jenna Tubbs | July 6, 2011, 3:25 pm

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