October: 10 reasons the media hates the Bears
Lately, I’ve been in a snarky mood. So I apologize in advance for the bitching in this month’s version of mad ramblings.
I hope you enjoy it, regardless.
Reasons to be in a snarky mood
• What’s one way to make a crummy mood even worse? Watching your favorite team take a dump on itself on national TV. Seriously, the Bears offensive line is JV like, and now the defense is showing holes. Thank God for Jay Cutler.
• That said, the national media hates Chicago for some reason. The Bears never got any respect last year, even though they hosted the NFC championship game. In fact, for the past few years, there has been more bashing of the Bears than when they were really shitty in the early 2000s.
Why the hate? Here are some reasons I think for the disrespect.
1. Cutler is a dick.
2. No one on the Bears has been involved in a murder (Ray Lewis), rape (Ben Rapelisberger) or killed animals (Vick).
4. GM Jerry Angelo is a dick.
5. Lovie Smith told Chris Berman that “Hotel California” was an overrated song.
6. Michelle Beadle hasn’t wanted to sleep with anyone on the team.
7. The food in the Solider Field press box sucks.
8. Mike Martz is a dick.
9. No one on the Bears has a cool nickname like Megatron or Purple Jesus.
10. Da Super Fans are no longer around to convince everyone of the Bears’ greatness.
If you can think of any other good, leave them in the comments section.
• Poop > Kellen Davis > high school band > J’Marcus Webb. Seriously, how is Webb a left tackle for an NFL team?
• Texans fans are idiots. Houston played Oakland on Sunday without Andre Johnson, one of the top two receivers in the league. Yet no one could understand why the offense struggled against the Raiders. I’m not joking.
Seriously, there a reason Johnson gets paid a lot more than freaking Jacoby Jones. Because he is 800-times better than Jones. How Texans fans could think the offense wouldn’t struggle without Johnson is amazing to me.
• The Texans are a bit screwed, though, with the loss of Mario Williams for the season. Too bad, because he was just starting to get comfortable playing outside linebacker in the new 3-4 scheme.
• The fucking roaches are back in my apartment. Seriously, I’m sick of these bastards. I’m so ready to move.
• To say I am looking forward to getting rid of DirecTV is an understatement. What a garbage service. AT&T Uverse, here I come!
• Tejada is a crazy bitch. Yeah, that’s all I have to say about that.
Reasons to be in a good mood
• Theo’s coming to the Cubs. I must say, I wasn’t sure this would actually happen, but Tom Ricketts made it work.
I still have worries about Epstein, like the crappy contracts he handed out to J.D. Drew, Mike Cameron and John Lackey when at Boston. But hey, it is better than we have had in forever.
• Theo’s early itinerary for the Cubs should look like this.
1. Fire Mike Quade as manager.
2. Trade Carlos Zambrano to Miami for a pack of sunflower seeds.
3. Fire Quade again for good measure.
4. Hire Ryne Sandberg as the new manager.
5. Hey Boston, wanna try Carl Crawford’s shitty contract for Alfonso Soriano’s shitty, but shorter, contract?
• Once again, getting to cover the UFC event in Houston was an unbelievable experience. The fights were 10-times better than they were in 2007. I also had seats in the front row of the media section. According to several people, I was seen all throughout the broadcast.
• I really do want to get into UFC, because I think it is an entertaining sport to watch. However, I don’t have the money to pony up $65 for PPV every month.
I was telling Yeh-Peu-Dah that I needed to find someone that like UFC to hang out with on fight nights.
“Well I’d like to watch,” she said. “I think watching two guys beat the crap out of each other is pretty cool. We should go have beer and wings for the next fight.”
Yup, she’s a keeper.
• I also got Yeh-Peu-Dah to watch a couple of episodes of “The League.” She laughed during a lot of it and said she would watch the show again.
Yup, she’s a keeper.
• I absolutely love my new Droid Bionic. It is ridiculously fast and has about 30 times more storage space than my old Droid.
I also turned it into a Mobile Hotspot for $30 a month. I was grandfathered into unlimited data, so this made sense.
I get download speeds of at least 9 MB/second. To get those speeds at home, I’d be pay around $60 a month. So now, I route my internet and Xbox through my phone at home. Technology rules.
• LeBron to the Seahawks? Might not be as crazy an idea as it sounds.
• Very interesting story on the Boston Red Sox’s collapse in September.
• Alleged serial school pooper caught. The headline says it all.
• I know I’m late to the party on this, but I finally got a chance to watch Season 1 of “The Walking Dead.” Solid show, though not as good as some people were making it out to be. I wonder if it can stay fresh in a 13-episode season like it is slated for beginning this month.
• The new Avengers trailer is out. OMG!
Bear Down and Keep the Faith!