Football season is here, and you know what that means – more horrible predictions from me!
Last year saw me predict a Boise State-Wisconsin BCS Title Game and a Jets-Eagles Super Bowl (though my RGIII Heisman prediction at least gives me something to brag about.)
So take the following picks to Vegas…and bet the exact opposite!
SEC: Alabama over Georgia
The real SEC title game again will be Bama vs. LSU.
Big 12: West Virginia
Most of the tough conference games are at home, including Oklahoma.
Big 10: Wisconsin over Michigan
I’m predicting a cake walk for Wisconsin in the regular season.
PAC 12: Oregon over USC
USC wins in the regular season, but Oregon gets its revenge in the title game.
ACC: Clemson over Virginia Tech
Clemson has a lot of offensive talent, and Florida State is way overrated.
Big East: Louisville
No one cares until Boise State arrives next year.
Heisman: Matt Barkley, USC
Most of the voters turn in their ballots before the USC QB loses at home to Oregon in the PAC 12 title game. Wisconsin’s Montee Ball finishes second.
Sugar: LSU over Oklahoma
Each team with one loss – LSU to Bama and Oklahoma to WV. Should be a classic.
Rose: Oregon over Michigan
Because the Rose Bowl always wants PAC 12 vs. Big 10, no matter the records it seems.
Fiesta: West Virginia over Louisville
Orange: USC over Clemson
USC misses out on title game, then takes its frustrations out on Clemson.
BCS Title: Alabama over Wisconsin
LSU could potentially get here with one loss, but Wisconsin’s easy schedule gives them an undefeated record and puts them in the title game. Bama goes on to embarrass them for third title in four years.
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE
1. NY Giants: Defending champs don’t slip up in regular season this year.
2. Dallas: Will challenge for division title, but injuries keep them in second.
3. Philadelphia: Speaking of injuries, Vick misses half the season and Eagles fall hard.
4. Washington: RGIII will make this a competitive team.
1. Green Bay: That offense is just too good.
2. Chicago: I really want to pick the Bears to win the division, but I just can’t. Still be easily be top wild card.
3. Detroit: I see the Lions falling back to Earth a bit this year.
4. Minnesota: Christian Ponder is awful.
1. Carolina: Cam Newton leads Panthers to top of division.
2. New Orleans: Coaching turmoil has an effect this year.
3. Atlanta: Offense puts up big numbers, but defense gives up points as well.
4. Tampa Bay: A year away, especially on defense.
1. San Francisco: 49ers cruise again in the division.
2. Seattle: Will finish second, but probably still have sub-.500 record.
3. St. Louis: Rams still need receivers.
4. Arizona: With the first pick in the NFL Draft…
1. New England: Easy pick.
2. Buffalo: That defense will be stout and result in a wild card berth.
3. NY Jets: I hate it, but Rex Ryan is probably gone after this year.
4. Miami: Horrible, horrible offense.
1. Baltimore: One last hurrah for the Ravens defense.
2. Pittsburgh: Offensive line is still an issue, as is aging defense.
3. Cincinnati: See Detroit.
4. Cleveland: With the second pick in the NFL Draft…
1. Houston: Piece of cake.
2. Indianapolis: Luck will lead Colts to wins in this crappy division.
3. Tennessee: See Christian Ponder.
4. Jacksonville: See Tennessee.
1. Denver: Peyton’s back, but the defense is ultimately the difference.
2. San Diego: Another slow start, but they sneak into the playoffs.
3. Oakland: Carson Palmer won’t be as bad as people think.
4. Kansas City: Matt Cassel continues his regression.
Wild card: Chicago over Carolina, NY Giants over Dallas
Bears roll over Newton in his first playoff start. Giants beat Cowboys for third time in the season.
Divisional: NY Giants over Green Bay, Chicago over San Francisco
Giants expose the Packers’ flaws for second straight year. Bears get a late TD drive for upset on the road.
Conference: Chicago over NY Giants
It turns into a surprising shootout, but a late Eli interception puts Chicago in the Super Bowl.
Wild card: Baltimore over San Diego, Buffalo over Denver
Ravens crush the Chargers at home. Bills pull off surprising upset on road thanks to running game.
Divisional: New England over Buffalo, Houston over Baltimore
Both of these games turn into blowouts, setting up a rematch for a fun regular season match-up.
Conference: Houston over New England
What has been Brady’s kryptonite over the past few years? Defensive pressure. That’s what the Texans bring, and the running game keeps the game low scoring enough for an upset.
Super Bowl: Chicago 24, Houston 23
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a homer Super Bowl, courtesy of Joshua Buckley. I told you these were horrible predictions. This isn’t completely implausible, but even I admit this is a bit silly of a match-up to predict. Regardless, you will see me in New Orleans if this is the match-up.
Bear Down and Roll Damn Tide!